GIVE

GIVE – How to keep and maintain relationships

All relationships are like gardens… they require maintenance. Relationships suffer when they fall by the wayside. If you want to keep and maintain a relationship, you need to play an active role.
**Linehan, M.M. (2015). DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). New York: Guilford Press.
You can remember these skills with the term GIVE.
(be)G

entle – be gentle in your delivery and style of speech.

(act)I

nterested – people feel better when you act interested in them and give them the time and space to respond to you.

V

alidate – communicating that the other person’s feelings, thoughts, and actions make sense to you.

(use an)E

asy manner – be lighthearted. Use a little humor. Smile. The way we deliver a message can make a big difference in how it is likely to be received.

Previous Article

Interpersonal Effectiveness

Not only do our relationships impact our emotions, our emotions impact our relationships.

Next Article

FAST – How to maintain self-respect

It is also important to maintain your own self-respect in your relationships.

Suggested Articles

Middle

Walking the Middle Path

One of the goals of DBT is to “walk the middle path.”

Understand

Emotion Regulation

Emotion regulation skills focus on understanding emotions, building resilience, and decreasing both vulnerability and suffering through skill use.

Respond

Distress Tolerance

Bad things happen to all of us at some point or another.