DEAR MAN – How to get what you want
Here is an example: Kelly needed to ask her parent’s permission to quit the yearbook club at school for her senior year.
“You had asked me to participate in the yearbook club for all four years of high school. I have been an active member of the club for the past three years of high school.”
“I no longer enjoy participating in the yearbook club and feel overwhelmed by all of my extracurricular activities and upcoming college applications.”
“I do not want to participate in the yearbook club in my senior year.”
“If I quit the yearbook club, I would have more time to study for the SATs and work on my college applications. It would also give me time to dedicate to working on the school newspaper.”
“I would like to resolve this issue before the school year starts.”
Standing up straight, making good eye contact, and appearing calm.
“Would you be okay with me finishing out the week, telling the yearbook president, and stopping on Monday? I also promise I will continue to fulfill my other obligations through the end of the school year.”
FAST – How to maintain self-respect
It is also important to maintain your own self-respect in your relationships.
Bad things happen to all of us at some point or another. And sometimes it even feels like a lot of hard things are happening back to back or all at once.
Walking the Middle Path
One of the goals of DBT is to “walk the middle path.”
Emotion regulation skills focus on understanding emotions, building resilience, and decreasing both vulnerability and suffering through skill use.
Bad things happen to all of us at some point or another.